Feeling Strangely Fine
by Sodapop Allerdyce
Summary: Three months after Johnny and Dally died, could life get any better for Steve Randle? Having to put up with a difficult father and meeting a new girl...


Title: Feeling Strangely Fine  
  
Author: Battosai Yuriko  
  
Rated: PG-13  
  
Category: Book The Outsiders  
  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
  
Spoiler: A couple of months after the book.  
  
Synopsis: Three months have gone by since the tragic death of Johnny and Dally. When they died, it was like losing a part of the family and that changed the way some of the gang looked at life. With that loss, Steve Randle began to feel different about his life. He starts to take more notice of the downs in his life, the things he failed at one time or another. Guilt hanging over his mind like a dead weight, nothing felt the same or right these days. When Steve is at work, he can't seem to concentrate on fixing a car nor give the affection and time that his girlfriend, Evie, deserved. Of course she got mad and dumped him shortly after that, but it was all for the best, right? One day at school, a new young woman with long raven hair appears and her name is Alyssa Monroe. She will soon change this young greaser's life forever.  
  
Pairing: Steve Randle/OC  
  
Completeness: Chapter One with more on the way.  
  
Disclaimer: I just want to give my thanks to S.E. Hinton for writing this wonderful novel and sharing it with the world. (She was a year younger than me when she wrote it!) Many of the colorful characters that will appear in this story don't belong to me. (I wish I could own Sodapop! *laughs*) So far, only Alyssa Monroe, the name of Steve's dad, and Mr. Monahan were created by me. If you would like to borrow them for your story, please ask me first! One more thing, I thought it would be nice to kick off my first Outsiders story with a song infused chapter (Tomorrow by Lillix). Enjoy!  
  
Feeling Strangely Fine  
  
Part One: Dare You To Move  
  
Chapter One: Tomorrow  
  
Standing on the sidewalk, Steve Randle watched the car with his wife fade into the distance, to the end of their street. He would see her off every morning when she had a full day of work and he didn't. Steve always got Fridays off from the race track. Turning on his heel and heading back to the house, he tried to decide of what to do with his day off this time. Normally, Steve would drop by the local radio station to visit Two-Bit during his commercial breaks. Sodapop was working at the track today and Darry was visiting Ponyboy off at his college, so going to them was out of the question.  
  
Steve slapped the pockets of his blue jeans with his hands and sighed, remembering that this was a busy day for Two-Bit, a lot of callers. Deciding not to bother him today, he looked about the room with a slightly bored expression as he tried to find something. The tan colored, leather bound journal that lay on a nearby desk in the living room caught his eyes. Going over and sitting down at the desk in the makeshift office, Steve remembered that Ponyboy had given this to him as a gift on the day he married Alyssa. At first, he didn't know what to write in it and worried that he might have to return it. But now, after being married for nearly six years, he did.  
  
Steve reached over the desk, opened the diary to the first page, and scooted it closer to him. He stared down at the blank page, wondering what to write first or where to start more importantly before he grabbed a pen. After a few minutes with no clue yet, Steve flipped on the radio to Two- Bit's station. The sound of music always helped him to relax or to write a paper for a class. A song was playing, one of his wife's favorites, "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot. Leaning back and closing his eyes, Steve carefully listened to the lyrics of the song. When the front man got to the part about "dare you to move, like we're still arriving," made Steve sit up to grab the pen and write in the dead center of the page: Feeling Strangely Fine. Lifting the tip of the pen from paper in thought, then brought it back down to write: by Steven Randle. 'Might as well use my real name,' he thought, not sure if he wanted a lot of people to read this besides his friends. At the bottom, he scribbled: "Dedicated to my dear wife, Alyssa, to whom this novel couldn't be written without. Also, to my immediate family, who have always been there for me, no matter what I go through."  
  
Although Steve knew that sounded kind of corny, but that was how he felt. Whenever he attempted to write something about his life, it reminded him of the time he read Ponyboy's English theme. (He had gotten the chance to read it a couple months after Darry and Sodapop did.) The words and emotions that had been expressed in that paper were mind blowing. Steve smiled in his usual cocky manner, knowing that Pony wasn't the only one that had a way with words. He had always gotten good grades in English, back when he was still getting educated, but he made sure to not let on to anyone that he did. Only Soda and Alyssa knew.  
  
The last few notes of the song on the radio had just faded, and the sound of a familiar voice came on. Looking up at the metal box, it was almost like Two-Bit was right here, sitting next to him. He was taking a couple of requests from callers. Steve's gaze moved on to the stuff that cluttered the desk. A small flash of light from the small bowl where the keys and some other odds and ends were kept, made his roaming eyes stop. Snatching the shiny object from its place, Steve realized that it was Alyssa's lucky silver bracelet. He smiled softly in remembrance, 'She forgot it again.' Suddenly, he froze with an idea occurring to him as a new song began to make its sound heard over the jukebox.  
  
"That's it!" Steve whispered with inspired glee. Returning pen to paper after flipping a page and writing "Chapter One" at the very top, he began to write his masterpiece.  
  
Part I: Dare You To Move  
  
Don't be afraid of going slowly, be only afraid of standing still. -Chinese Proverb  
  
Tomorrow just another day  
  
Another way  
  
To spend my day  
  
All by my self  
  
Starin' at the TV screen  
  
Flipping through my magazine  
  
Everything is unclear  
  
I need you here (do-do-dooo)  
  
'Why must I always linger on the past?' thought Steve as he leaned back into a sitting position upon his bed in the early morning. 'It's a freakin' waste of time to think about the friends that I lost only a few weeks ago.' Lying here in bed and trying to sleep only brought back bad memories to the forefront of his mind. 'Oh yeah, the image of the bullets colliding with Dally's body is a real pleasant memory, Steve.' He scolded himself, but Steve had every right to be upset like everyone else did.  
  
Why was it so hard for him to accept that pain? Although Johnny and Dally were life long friends of the gang, he just couldn't take it in stride like all his friends were taking it. Steve just wouldn't allow his barriers to fall and break down to cry in grief. He just wasn't that type of guy. After spending many years of being yelled at by his father and seeing his mother break down and cry, Steve knew he had to be strong. He knew that it wasn't healthy to keep emotions like this bottled up inside forever, but he never had the right motivation to unleash them even if he wanted to. Not even when Steve was having a serious conversation with his best friend, Sodapop, or even his ex-girlfriend Evie.  
  
At times, he felt trapped within his own life, his own mind. 'Gosh.,' Steve sighed exasperatly as he ran his fingers through his longish, dark brown, ungelled hair. 'I feel so lost. Where do I go from here?' He reached up to rub his eyes from the lack of sleep, but didn't yawn. Suddenly, a knock came at his door and a sweet, warm voice said to him, "Stevie, honey? Time to get up for school!" Steve let out another heavy sigh for the second time that morning. One, for his mom (still) calling him Stevie. Two, for having to drag his ass out of bed and get to the friggin' place. "Yeah, mom! I'm up!" he yelled back in response.  
  
And I wake up  
  
Put on my make up  
  
Pick up the phone  
  
Nobody's home  
  
I need to break out  
  
Get me some take out  
  
Standing inside the crowd  
  
I want scream out loud  
  
That I'll be ok  
  
(And) I'll be ok  
  
Steve was grateful that it was his mom who normally woke him up in the mornings. If it were his dad: a sharp bang to the door, and he'd be up in a flash with no response whatsoever. Also, Steve would take a quick hot shower before he had breakfast to wash away the pain. He hated the fact that he let his father's words or actions get to him like that, making him sensitive in a way. That not being the case today, Steve took his time to crawl out of bed and get dressed into his favorite jeans jacket and pants.  
  
'Another depressing night spent,' he thought as he ran a comb through his greased hair to style it. Looking up at the bathroom mirror, Steve studied the tiny scar that ran across his jaw line on the right side of his face. He had gotten that during the rumble with the Socs a month or so back. Some stupid hood from Tim Shepard's gang was trying to hit a Soc with a piece of pipe and missed. Sure, the thing bled and hurt like heck, but no way in hell was he going to slap a bandage over it. But, when Darry and Soda had insisted on it, Steve gave in and wore one until the weekend was over and he had to get to school.  
  
In some twisted way, the scar reminded him of his imperfections and insecurities. Time could not erase his many scars. No, not the visible one that the world can see, but all of the internal ones, mentally. As far as Steve could see, there was no way out of being able to heal them. His problems were his alone, his business most of the time. Although he had friends to lean on, Steve felt that he shouldn't burden them with it. At times, he wanted to share them with someone else, someone new. But.who?  
  
That was the same question that Steve had been asking himself this past month. 'Just a question, not a goal.yet,' he reminded himself as he rounded the corner at the end of the hall into the kitchen. With a quick exchange of "Good mornings" from his parents, Steve sat down in his usual place at the table to wait for his food. He looked over at his mom cooking at the stove, then to his dad reading the paper as he ate. Tyler Randle, mid-30's with a son that he could care less about than his wife. That should sum up his old man right.  
  
Suddenly, without looking up from his paper, Tyler said (not asked, said), "I'm going to drive your car to work today, Steve. Something's wrong with the ignition and breaks again in mine. Be sure to have it fixed sometime this week."  
  
'Argh! Does he do this intentionally?!' growled Steve to himself as his body and mind tensed. 'I freakin' swear that I've fixed that car three fucking times! Why can't he get a new one?! Oh wait.that's right! We can't afford it! Shit.I have to walk to school today.' Officially pissed off now, Steve no longer felt hungry nor patient enough to wait for the food. He wanted out, so he got up and stormed out of the kitchen into the living room to grab his backpack near the door.  
  
Walking down this winding road  
  
Rainy days are all I know  
  
I have hit the ground  
  
Staring up into the sky  
  
Counting all the reasons why  
  
My mind is spinning around  
  
I need to breath (do-do-doo)  
  
"Err! My father.no, that man.can be so unbelievable!" growled Steve under his breath. He didn't care who heard him until he noticed some of the neighbors coming out with their trash up ahead. Taking a deep shaky breath that didn't help calm him down at all, Steve marched on with only his thoughts to keep him company. 'He borrows money from me without ever paying me back! I bet that bastard spends most of it on his cheap beer!' Steve knew full on that it was cheap for he had tasted it before he had ever tried any drink with alcohol in his life. With the flavor of it coming back to mind, 'Shit! That stuff tasted worse than piss! How can he stand that stuff?! That bad buzz must really be getting to his brain.  
  
I mean, he yells his head off at me a good part of the time when mom's not around to hear it. Not like she can do a whole lot to defend me like Soda does with Pony. Glory, would it have killed them to have another child?! That would take the pressure off fast.,but then I'd have to deal with big brother responsibilities.  
  
I can't believe he has the friggin' nerve to apologize the next day after his hangover! He even gives me five bucks to make it up! Psh! It would take a hella lot more to make up for all those years for having to put up with an asshole like him. I would love to say that I don't need his petty money, than I would be lying.'  
  
Steve went on to cuss his old man out with every word that he could think of as he crossed the street over to the local park. His pace quickened as his anger went up another notch as he remembered one of the major reasons why he smoked and drank. As the vacant lot came into view, Steve hadn't noticed someone approaching him for he was so deep in thought.  
  
Suddenly, he felt someone slap him on the shoulder. Riding on his anger, Steve lashed out and grabbed the person in front of him by the collar. His cold dark eyes met a pair of frighten green orbs. "Dude, Randle! Where the fire at?" came a familiar, yet humorous voice. Steve loosened his death grip as his mind began to clear. "Mathews?!" he said in dawning realization as he shoved his friend back a little to give himself some room. "What the hell.?!"  
  
"I was just mosizing on over to your place to see if you were up yet, Sleeping Beauty. Is that such a crime?!" explained Two-Bit as he was straightening out his black leather jacket. He looked over to his friend whom just shook his head in response. The golden blonde studied Steve's body language. His face looked weary and a bit confused, but at least the anger was fading and his body still looked a bit tensed. Cocking an eyebrow, he asked, "What's your damage?"  
  
Instead of answering the question to which the answer should've been obvious, Steve retorted, "My damage is that if you don't let me eat right now, I'll bull you over!" He hadn't meant to say that that harshly, but being so mad as he was made him mighty hungry over the fact that he had skipped breakfast. Soon Steve continued on his way to the Curtis' with Two- Bit in toll. He wanted to apologize to his buddy, but he feared that it may come out in anger again unless he calmed down. So the rest of way was made out in silence.  
  
~TO BE CONTINUED~  
  
Author's Note: Well, this is my very first attempt at writing a romance story and outsiders story. I hope it's promising! This part of the story is kind of a lead into the actual story that I want to write. Like a small prologue within the chapter. This is the present time part of the story, 1975, where everyone in the gang is about in their 20's and have better jobs than before. The story is going to be mostly from Steve's point of view, although I'm not sure of right now if it should be in pov's or from third person. Like the movie, where is started with Ponyboy writing his english theme and at the end too, I wanted to have a little start like that. Hope you all like what I got down so far! Leave me a nice review!  
  
This chapter is far from over. I just couldn't wait any longer to get it out before I finished the whole chapter. From the way that I described Steve trying to figure out what to write, I wanted to portray what it's like for me and maybe other writers to try and start to write a new story. A new story where they aren't quite sure how they want it all to go, what's the theme. So far, I've got a rough outline or vision of how I want the story to play out so far. Took me about two to three months to plan some of this.  
  
(Sorry about this old author's note above! I'll try to update it soon!)  
  
Cast (for when the real story starts):  
  
Tom Cruise (18) as Steve Randle (17)  
  
Stacie Orrico (17) as Alyssa Monroe (17)  
  
Hugh Jackman as Tyler Randle (Steve's Father)  
  
Rob Lowe (18) as Sodapop Curtis (16)  
  
C. Thomas Howell (15) as Ponyboy Curtis (14)  
  
Emilio Estevez (19) as Two-Bit Mathews (18)  
  
Viggo Mortensen as Mr. Monahan 


End file.
